Allyship for LGBTQIIA+ Inclusive Weddings and Events
Photo by Wildly Connected Photography
Our approach to sustainability encompasses equity and inclusion practices because we believe that you can’t truly have one without the other. We are always learning and growing when it comes to designing inclusive events and look to our incredible LGBTQIIA+ event and wedding pro community for ways to be working on growing our allyship.
One thing we do know is simply saying “All Are Welcome” or “Love is Love” on our Instagram isn’t enough. Unless we are educating ourselves and doing the work to commit to and define our allyship, we aren’t actually going to make our LGBTQIIA+ couples and attendees actually feel welcome. Mistakes happen and we are here for the learning evolution, but it all starts with a willingness to continuously grow and an openness to educating ourselves.
We certainly aren’t experts and look to those leaders in our industry who are sharing knowledge, wisdom, and personal experiences, you will find them linked and listed throughout!
Define and Commit to Your Allyship:
But first, what is Allyship?
Defined as the “role of a person who advocates and actively works for the inclusion of a marginalized group in all areas of society, not as a member of that group but in solidarity with its struggle and point of view.”
What stands out to us is the movement around this definition! Advocates and actively works. Those words feel intentional and action oriented—not a one-off or checked box for your business or event. It’s about thinking ahead and staying involved and committed to your allyship all year long. Not just for pride month or for one event.
For us allyship looks like:
Amplifying our LGBTQIIA+ community and vendors and staying in relationship with them!
Designing events and styled shoots with LGBTQIIA+ lens and being upfront about these values before working with vendors.
Speaking up when seeing exclusion or discrimination at events or within the industry. (We understand there are cultural nuances to this conversation, but value mutually respective conversations.)
Attending events and staying active/aware on policies and issues in support of the LGBTQIIA+ community. Making monetary commitments to organizations when possible.
Implementing inclusive strategies, partnerships, hiring processes, and vendor selections in our business. We are actively working on inclusion statements for our internal and external spaces including our website!
There is always more to be done and we remain open to taking the next steps as we grow.
So what can you do as a business owner or planner within your wedding or events? Here are four things we’ve learned in our evolving allyship journey:
Educate Yourself
Language is Important
Avoid making Assumptions about People
Think Beyond the Binary
“Just as you would research a region’s culture and language before visiting or doing business with someone from another country, consider educating yourself on the LGBTQIIA+’s culture and language to learn how to best communicate with and serve the LGBTQIIA+ community so you can provide more inclusive and affirming service.” - Hank Paul, LGTBQ+ Inclusive Strategist and photographer
Photo by Jessica Knighton Photography
Educate yourself
Being LGBTQIIA+ friendly vs. inclusive is not the same. Actually practicing inclusivity is truly understanding the communities needs and bringing them into your business and process and is different then just being a welcoming or open person.
Explore queer history and culture to better understand the needs of your LGBTQIIA+ clients and attendees. Take trainings or workshops from LGBTQIIA+ industry experts and dive deeper into actions you can be more inclusive on your website, in your social media, design process, and in your questions/approach with clients.
To quote one of our favorite business inclusion leaders Hank Paul, “just as you would research a region’s culture and language before visiting or doing business with someone from another country, consider educating yourself on the LGBTQIIA+’s culture and language to learn how to best communicate with and serve the LGBTQIIA+ community so you can provide more inclusive and affirming service.”
Photo by Jessica Knighton Photography
Language is important
We’ve seen the queer community consistently growing and evolving to meet people’s individual needs, especially when it comes to language and identity. While it may feel a little overwhelming to try and keep up, it’s actually quite powerful and beautiful to be that expansive when you think about it.
This quick guide of what acronyms to use by Kristen from Equally Wed Pro is a great primer!
Using gendered language can make people feel immediately excluded, especially on your website or social media. If you are a wedding professional or vendor using the words bride, groom, bridal party, bridal suite etc. can feel a bit offputting. Opt for more inclusive language like partner 1, partner 2, or wedding party.
What about Pronouns
Pronouns are an important part of our identity and how we want to be seen in the world. By including the use of pronouns can help everyone from your clients to your event attendees feel acknowledged. We offer our pronouns in our email signature, when introducing ourselves to event staff or onsight vendors, on name tags, and when meeting clients and/or couples. It’s great to check with your clients on what pronouns they use so that they feel respected when working with you and you’re not making any assumptions.
Photo by Wildly Connected Photo
Avoid any assumptions about people
This is always a great reminder and way of working in the world. Every person we interact with in our work is different and we don’t want to assume anything about them simply by the way they look, dress, speak or move about the world. This includes clients, couples, vendors, and attendees.
When it comes to weddings in particular, there are a lot of heteronormative and gendered practices built into the traditions. Whether a couple is queer or not, encouraging everyone to choose their own traditions or approach to their wedding is always more inclusive. A great tip is always asking open-ended instead of this vs. that style questions can help get to the root of what people really want out of their event.
Think beyond the gender-binary
So many aspects of our lives are defined by gender without us even
realizing it. This includes anything from personal aesthetics like clothing, hairstyles, makeup, or physical spaces or locations like stores, dressing rooms, and restrooms. Society even associates food choices and menu items like steak and meat as masculine and white wine as more feminine.
Some nongendered practices for the event industry:
Nongendered language wherever possible
Providing a gender-neutral restroom option
Asking for pronouns on nametags
Consider non-gendered language with dress codes or supporting couples to wear what they feel best in
Consider diversifying the images or photography on your website or event promotional materials
This is only the tip of the iceberg on opportunities to explore and work on our inclusion. What else would you add?
We are still growing and evolving in our allyship journey and look to many other thoughtful leaders in the space, both locally and internationally! Thank you to so many who are gifting their time and energy to educate the industry on more inclusive practices.
Photo by Wildly Connected Photography
Read and follow these amazing businesses for more resources and tips below!
Resources:
Equally Wed Pro
Hank Paul - LGBTQIIA+ Inclusion Strategist
The Gay Agenda - Queer Event Planner
Queerly Beloved Podcast
LGBT Meeting Professionals Association
LGBTQIIA+ Inclusive Certification Course
Allyship Roadmap and Podcast by Hank Paul
LGBTQIIA-friendly Event Planning: How to Create an Inclusive Meeting
Wedding Client Pronouns: Why and How by Hank Paul
Answering Your Questions about LGBTQIIA+ Couples: Allyship in the Wedding Industry by Wildly Connected Photo